Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• my boss wants 20% of my salary from my next job
• my manager stole a family heirloom from me and gave it as a gift to someone else
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My new boss has a different work style than my old boss I’ve been in my job for three years under James. I’ve liked working with him and have learned a lot. The work is fairly strategic in nature, and James often asked for multiple […]

• I'm being pressured to chauffeur interns to and from work
• I started a business with two coworkers and I'm doing all the work
• my coworker keeps trying to undermine me

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work in retail. Today, a coworker was out, which prompted my boss to go over the policy for calling out sick. She explained that employees have to call out two hours before their shift starts, which seemed reasonable. However, she also said that we shouldn’t call out more than two hours […]

• my coworker pressures me to take his shifts at the last minute ... because he knows I can't afford to say no
• should I ask my employee to find her own coverage for sick calls?
• sick coworker says he can't work alone

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss wanted them to do early-morning and evening meetings so he could attend from his vacation? Here’s the update. My question was posted a couple months after I wrote in, toward the end of my boss’s “vacation,” but I ended up doing some of what was recommended. The particular issue I […]

• boss wants us to do early-morning and evening meetings so he can attend from his vacation
• everyone in my office works while they're on vacation
• everything you need to know about how to take vacation time

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m writing a column for later this month about the ways Halloween at work can go wrong and want to hear your stories. Did your coworker get fired for refusing to remove his unicorn mask to get through security? Did your office put up decorations so grisly that they were traumatizing people? Did a coworker […]

• I can't escape Halloween Town
• I had a panic attack over a Halloween decoration at work
• my company wants me to work Halloween and I'm a Halloween fanatic

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Disgruntled ex-employee keeps contacting current employees We had an employee, Lark, who served as a director in our business for about eight months. She chose to put in her notice and leave the company this summer. During her tenure, she repeatedly told several members of […]

• my boss wants us to meet with a spiritualist to fix the negative energy in our building
• my boss wants me to hire her friend, employee spends lunch driving for Uber, and more
• my contact won't stop pressuring me to volunteer while I'm on medical leave

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m estranged from my father, who was a truly terrible emotional abuser — maybe physical too, if you consider “kick child out of car for turning the volume down during a good song so now he has to walk home along the highway for an hour” child endangerment. We haven’t spoken in […]

• I don't want to work with my estranged father, changing in front of coworkers at the gym, and more
• I manage someone who was terribly harmed by my family ... what do I do?
• should I tell my boss about a personal situation that might affect my work?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am a first-time manager of a virtual team, and one of my direct reports works from home 100% of the time. On a recent call, this employee was providing an overview of a new system and in the background, everyone on the project team could hear his three-year-old child screaming. It […]

• my coworker screams awful things at her kids during video calls
• what's reasonable for managers to expect of parents working from home?
• my boss's kids are incredibly distracting on video calls

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m the assistant manager of a workplace where my partner also works. In fact, we met there — when I started working here, we were both in the same customer-facing role, and about a year ago I got the assistant manager role. We’ve so far made this work, although it has been […]

• my manager’s partner speaks up in our private meetings
• I'm dating my boss -- can I fix his conflict with another employee?
• I'm supposed to fire my husband's ex-wife

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee thinks I’m sending “secret messages” about how much time off she has I’m a new manager with less than a year of experience, and I manage one direct report, Sally. We’re both based in the U.S., while our director is in the UK. […]

• my coworker is dating a convicted pedophile
• our new boss doesn't know how awful her second-in-command is
• my problem employee is telling coworkers I’m unfair to her

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: How does one shake a reputation at work for being “extra”? Three years ago, I joined my current organization and quickly became known as a go-getter, an innovator, and someone good at their job. Senior level colleagues would learn about programs I had developed, express admiration, and ask to borrow the idea. […]

• my boss keeps asking me to do things that aggravate our community partners
• can I ever repair my bad reputation with my manager?
• can I recover from a bad reputation at work?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Readers, can you help with this one? I had a question I’m hoping to get your or your readers’ input on. I live, and work remotely from, one of the Southern Appalachian communities that was most severely impacted by Hurricane Helene. I’m very lucky in that I’m safe, my people are safe, and I didn’t […]

• do you have to be paid if your office is closed because of a hurricane?
• how do you turn off a crisis management mindset after finishing work each day?
• my boss wants me to be positive and upbeat all the time ... we work in disaster relief

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: This happened a while ago, but I’m still weirded out by it. I worked in a very close-knit, small office (five people), where I got along very well with everyone except one person, “Gertrude.” Gertrude was in her first job out of school, so it’s likely she was new to working world […]

• a coworker prayed for my fiancé's death so we didn't invite her to our wedding ... and now there is drama
• coworker is throwing a tantrum over having to interview for a promotion, inviting coworkers to your wedding, and more
• my coworker brought seven plus-one's to a work party

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Writing group member won’t stop talking and we can’t get any work done I work at an academic institution, and am a member of a writing group that includes people across different departments. We meet every few weeks to write as a way of carving […]

• dealing with a problematic member of a board games group
• my "hybrid" team is using me as their way to not go to the office at all
• what do you do when your coworkers are afraid to address a problem as a group?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Last week we talked about times you saw someone right someone else’s wrong. Here are 10 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The COO My first job out of college was working at a large corporation as an executive admin. There were five of us admins who sat in the open space, outside of […]

• our admins hate all the coffee I buy the office, but they insist I have to keep trying
• can I steal my boss's job while he's on leave, women in menswear, and more
• our top two execs are secretly mother and daughter, salary offer was lower than recruiter said, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: My small company has a very laid-back culture — sometimes too laid-back. A lot of the employees are friends outside of work or follow each other on social media. A team of seven employees sits outside of my office in an open floor plan space. They often talk throughout the day and […]

• I think my coworker is lying about having a sick kid
• my coworkers all hang out without me
• my coworker showed us an explicit slideshow of her baby's birth

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days (probably back tomorrow), so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: I’m really curious about what you would have done in this situation. I’ve worked for a company for a little over 10 years and there is a person, who […]

• my husband is my boss -- and we're getting divorced
• my employee helped a fired coworker get a job with her fiance and lied to me about it
• can I use sick leave to take my cat to the vet?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days (probably back tomorrow). Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My office thinks I insulted a coworker but I didn’t mean it like that I work for a small nonprofit. I have one boss and about […]

• my office thinks I insulted a coworker, colleague refuses to take my input, and more
• I feel insulted by the rolls at my new job, coworker uses baby talk, and more
• I don't like my super popular coworker ... and she complained to my boss about it

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM